TW: This letter to my body contains discussions of weight loss, dieting, and poor body image. If these topics bother you, please feel free to skip today’s post. If you are struggling with unhealthy body image or weight disorders, please click here to get help.
Dear Body,
When did I start hating you?
I know I didn’t come into this world feeling like you were the enemy. Once upon a time, we were a team.
As a child, I loved all the things we could do together. With you I could jump, and run, and climb. I valued you for the things that you could do. When did that change?
As I got older, I began to place your worth in how little space you took up. Over the years you’ve gotten bigger and smaller. We grew together in my first few years of university and then shrank, through a series of yo-yo diets and desperate trips to the gym. You got smaller. But I still wasn’t happy. What if you kept shrinking? Sizes and measurements creeping ever closer to that golden zero until you disappeared entirely. Would I be happy then? I don’t think so.
You see, I grew up in a world where I was taught to hate you. We’re fighting a war against “perfection”, and no one escapes unscathed. They attack us with advertisements. Headlines harass us. And then the final nail in the coffin – seeing the beautiful women we idolize standing in front of a mirror with disgust in their eyes.
The message is clear. You are broken. You are imperfect. And you will never be good enough. If you’re fat, you need to be thin. If you’re thin, you need more fat. We hate our noses, our skin, our teeth. We spend so much of our precious time and money trying to “fix” something that was never broken.
We judge ourselves. But the thing about you, body, is that you never judge me. You don’t see yourself as a collection of flaws. As long as you keep me breathing and my heart beating, you’re happy. Your landscape is a beautiful scrapbook of everywhere I’ve been. My muscles remember every mountain we have climbed together. Every stretch mark is proof of my growth. The soft fat in my belly is a reminder of amazing dinners with friends, and every delicious slice of birthday cake.
And through it all you’ve been there. Whether I loved or hated you, you’ve allowed me to do some amazing things. You are the vessel through which I’m able to experience this weird and wonderful world.
I should take care of you, but not because I want to shrink. I should care for you because you’re my body. My beautifully flawed and imperfectly perfect body. You are the only body I’ve ever had, the only body I will ever have.
You’ve taken me so far. But now it’s my time to take care of you. Let me nourish you. Let me move you. Let me spend less time looking in the mirror and more time looking at my feet – step by step, as we walk together into a future of self-acceptance and love.
Thank you so much for reading this letter to my body! This is the first time I’ve posted this kind of content on the blog, so please let me know if you enjoyed it. Visit my life category of you’d like to read more frank discussions about self-development and self-image.
Wow, such a powerful post! Thank you for inspiring me to continue this journey towards self love!
Thank you so much, Katie! We’re all on this journey together. Good luck ❤
This is so heartfelt and touching – and you’re absolutely beautiful <3
This is so beautiful! So true our body is beautiful aps it is no need to change it to please others
Thank you, Surabhi! We’re perfect just the way we are.
Thanks Karen! I’m so happy you enjoyed it.
Great post, thought provoking. Well done for sharing.
Thank you so much, Justine! It was a difficult post to share but I’m so happy you enjoyed it.
Love this !!
Thank you Jewels! So happy you liked it.
Thank you for this awesome post. Reflects the mindset of most women, how we feel at some point of our lives or the other
Thanks Anitha. I totally know what you mean – time to start tearing down that negative mindset ❤
I love that you opened up, so that as a women I don’t feel alone worrying so much about my weight. So many thoughts go through our minds when we look in the mirror, and I love how you’ve normalized how we feel about ourselves.
Great post
Thank you so much, Renee! You’re definitely not alone. I’m so glad you found some solidarity in my post ❤
Brilliant post. You said so much of what needs to be said about how we speak to our body. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Karletta! If someone spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves we would never want to be around that person! It’s time to change that narrative. So happy you enjoyed it!
I did really enjoy it. An original idea, and really heartfelt. Good luck, I hope things go really well with learning to love your body again 🙂
Thank you, Angela! I wish the same for you as well ❤
Very beautiful. Great reflection of what most women experience with their bodies.
Thank you, Idara! So glad you enjoyed it ❤
This is so beautiful. We tend to take our bodies for granted until they can’t do the things we want them to do.
Thanks Tracy. I couldn’t agree more. Time to appreciate our bodies today!
Yes! Same here! I believe this is a phase we all go through at some point. It’s great that you had an awakening and addressed it. I am currently going through the phase of being more intentional with loving me. It’s necessary. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much Jasmine! I’m on that same journey and even though it’s not easy, it’s definitely worth it. Good luck on your path ❤
Absolutely beautiful post! I don’t think I could love it more than I do! We all need to have this mindset. ❤️
Thank you so much, Rosemary! I’m so glad you enjoyed it ❤
Great post! I hate that so many of us hate our bodies – but I’m glad that you’ve realized how much our bodies do for us. I need to get there too!
Thank you, Josephine! I still have a long way to go, but that realization was a really important step on my journey. Sending you all of the body love vibes ❤
Wow..love this .our bodies are important
Thank you so much, Kgalalelo! You’re completely right ❤
This is absolutely beautiful – I love how accepting and loving you are towards your body – I really need to be more accepting!
Hi Mariam! Thank you so much for your comment. I’m still working on it everyday. Good luck on your journey!
Wow! This post was amazing and completely relatable. I too take value in how much little room my body takes up. I workout excessively and eat so healthy. I am definitely undereating for the amount I exercise. In fact, my period is SO irregular because of it (and it used to be incredibly regular). My body is using energy from other areas, instead of from food, to support my daily activities which is causing my period to stop. I know this is unhealthy, but I struggle to change my eating and workout habits. I have come a long way over the last few months, but I am not fully healed. It is a work in process!
Wow Brie, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so proud of you for recognizing those unhealthy patterns you’re trapped in and working to free yourself from the cycle! If you haven’t yet, you should check out my post on intuitive eating. It’s completely changed my view of food and how it can fuel our bodies. I hope it helps you as much as it’s helped me. Much love ❤
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this honestly brought me to tears.. bullied as a child for being fat.. when I looked at my old photos though, I was far from fat.. but my classmates called me a bulldozer.. My first step to freedom was getting out of the class WhatsApp grp, a reminder of all the negativity and toxic people..